Twenty-Five

TW: Suicide

I look both ways before crossing the road,

Because I don’t want to die,

Without knowing how wood and old books would smell like.

I say a silent prayer every time I step outside,

Because I don’t want to die,

Without finishing that book I’m writing.

I put on my seatbelt as soon as I get in the car,

Because I don’t want to die,

Without meeting my soulmate whom I’ve always ached for.

I put it back in the drawer,

Because I don’t want to die,

Without the sense of freedom.

Until then,

I’ll wait,

I’ll let my soul marinate in this pain,

I’ll lie to myself, “Just a while more”,

And get past everyday.

And when I’m twenty five,

I wouldn’t care about the truck heading my way,

I would roll down the windows and blast my favourite song while I’m cruising down the Highway,

I wouldn’t think too much before pulling the trigger.

And when I die,

I’ll know if the pain was worth it,

Or just another useless sacrifice.